That's not what I said. I was talking about real life situations. Dating sites and such are a different situation. You don't get to know someone for unrelated reasons and then decide that you want to be in a relationship with them, or specifically submit to them. On dating sites you try to meet people explicitely in the hopes to be able to submit to them. The choice of submitting to them should come from knowing them. The desire to submit shouldn't come first and then you pick them because you found their listing on a site.
I have no idea if I'm making sense.