Met some dogs today. They all really hated me on sight smell and barked and chomped at me. One even caught a bit of my pant leg. Every new dog I meet makes me more convinced I smell like something all dogs universally just can't abide.
And what really gets me is how everyone always tells me it's my fault, even though I would maintain I absolutely approached the dogs with a sense of "What is this delightful creature?" (which inevitably quickly turns into "—oh just something that wants to try and tear me into pieces again.") and NOT with "AAAAAAA I HATE DOGS SCARY" in my mind, which is what people always accuse me of no matter where I complain about dogs being assholes.
Dogs aren't even that scary. Don't get so full your dog intimidation daydreams, dog sympathizers. I bet people who accuse me of being scared are all the same nozzlenoses who train pitbulls to be mean because that makes them feel more secure about their fragile macho poopoo. (But I guess I'm probably actually just subconsciously scared and dogs can tell because they're God's perfect good boys and can sniff out lies and evil. Heck you too, Yahweh. I hope Eris poops on your desk and you, in one of your characteristic fits of godly rage falsely accuse your god dog and it never really forgives you.)
Now Horses, though, are actually scary, and yet still don't overtly want to destroy me. Which probably means they're evil. Even I want to destroy myself most of the time, and I'm an ungodly monstrous abomination of jittery pulsating flesh brought to (a grotesque mockery of) life and forgotten on Earth by some cosmic force too terrible to contemplate. Which is all to say lately I've been thinking horses are probably actually pretty cool. I think I'm actually cool with horses.
But not dogs. Dogs basically suck. They may look fuzzy and adorable, but they're just autonomously moving excuses for dog sympathizers to blame me for a subset of my own troubles and the various curses and hexes cast on me over the ages.
I've had enough of your shit, dogs. But that's mostly the fault of your awful humans. Doggone it, dogs, keep your humans in line. And I've also had enough of your pretty much universally nasty attitude toward me, dogs. Not that I'll do anything concrete about it. Just making a note of it where no one will find it.