You honestly sound like you're projecting the lectures from people who told you to get /your/ shit together. Being as how you're fuming hostility towards someone for saying useless layabouts with oversized egos are not desirable, it appears those lectures were needed. It's good to see you listened enough to parrot it back at someone else, by try to take the content of it to heart, because here's the thing.
A woman can be an immense, seemingly immeasurable treasure to a man who desires her. The same can be said of a man desired by a woman. Neither is wrong, nor anything to be ashamed of, but there's a cause and effect to being so prized. If you're a shit person with no ambition or ability to change it, you're going to end up a shit old person, and shitty old people die alone in shitty old beds, with the people who survive them remembering them as an empty person who honestly wasn't worth what little time and love anyone had left to spare them for pity's sake. They get mourned like a gas station or a deli going out o business gets mourned; with idle recognition and apathy. More people feel sad over a transient freezing to death in a public place.
Be worth something. Build something. Inspire something. Otherwise every relationship you have is going to revolve around how long it takes people to realize that the only reason knowing you was ever rewarding to them was because they hadn't yet discovered that your character made you beneath their regard.
An absence of confidence can preclude failure and a loss of worth, but an overabundance of self worth and ego doesn't denote merit. If somebody let's themselves be dommed by that, it's about scratching the kink. If you're that domme, you're honest to god nothing more than a sub's fucktoy. They're bottoming from the top because you're easier than finding someone better. They're fucking you because you're convenient. And maybe they stay out of guilt.